Learning to Surrender

My Mom says “let go and let God”. Whatever God means to each of us, this is a powerful concept. I have always been super motivated. A person who adamantly pursues things with the attitude that there are no brick walls. In the south we have a saying. I’m like a dog with a bone…I won’t let go. Through my journey with Parelli, I am learning so many wonderful life lessons. One being that there is no black and white. Never say never, don’t always say always…usually say usually. There are no rules, but there are principles and guidelines. My first course at the Parelli Center was the Fast Track in early 2010 and we were given a strong focus on learning to be puzzle solvers. That was such a gift and I continue to work at being a better puzzle solver. In saying all this, I’m hoping to share with you what I’m learning about surrendering. I’m learning there can be a balance between being a “go getter” and allowing for life to unfold exactly as it’s supposed to. I’m reminded of another Parelli-ism…become an extreme middle of the roadist. I love that! As I’m presented with day to day life, I realize we commit to the principles, values, and behaviors we want to embody and receive opportunity after opportunity to be the person we want to be. Some days we get it and some days we fall back a bit. The beauty is in the process. We must forgive ourselves and keep our commitments. I am scheduled to go the the May Externship and have been preparing for months for this to be the pinnacle of what I intend to be a life changing year. I have finally given myself permission to truly live my dreams. I have changed my thoughts from “I don’t know if I’m worthy or good enough” to have a real career as a Parelli Professional” to “I am a Parelli Professional”. I have claimed my journey based on my passions and what speaks to my heart. I have shifted my focus to this path with a belief that I will make a living doing the things I love. For me that is specifically helping people learn and find authentic self growth through horsemanship and writing. So, back to the Externship. I received an email stating that I must achieve L3++ in FS, OL, and Liberty by end of March to ensure my spot is not filled with someone else. I have been working a plan that gets me there by mid April. What an excellent opportunity to find the balance between adamantly pursuing a goal and being able to surrender to what the Universe has in store for me. I’ve decided to believe I will be there, I’ve written my audition plans in multiple places so I can practice them constantly in my mind (we are in the middle of some very rainy/muddy weather here) and have a schedule on creating videos. I will reach out to mentors for coaching. I am letting go of any worries or doubtful thoughts that might enter my mind. I will do my best while honoring the relationship with my horse and putting that first, and will be focused and committed. I won’t create a backup plan as I normally would, but I know I’ll be flexible if I need to…I’m letting go of the noise in my mind and moving toward this goal as a priority. Once I get all three of those audition results, I’ll be able to look to my next step. But I am letting go of control. I believe God has a bigger dream for me than I could ever dream for myself. My future is to continue as a Parelli Professional and continue this journey. I give up control of how that journey unfolds. I recently read something 4 Star Parelli Professional, Kristi Smith wrote. “We only fail if we give up”. So, I know I won’t fail. I am blessed. I have found, at 35, the core things that make my heart sing. Now I can spend the rest of my life experiencing the experiences of moving toward those passions every day. We are told to memorize Parelli theory until it’s tattoed on the back of our eyelids and I see more and more why this is recommended. Once it’s ingrained in our minds, we call it forward subconsciously when we need it. As with every challenge and life experience, I am looking for the opportunities to learn and grow. Also, I am again awestruck at how the Parelli Organization, Program and Tribe are set up to help us constantly grow and learn. I intend to enter the mastery program in May but life is my Master Class and I’ll get to Pagosa Springs soon. The format for my next learning experience may not be what I had planned on, but it will be exactly what I need. Here’s to learning to surrender…