Letting go of MY AGENDA…really

So, here I am at another big breakthrough after having had the honor of asking Linda and Pat a question at our Instructor Online Event and getting wonderful guidance.  After I typed the email question and read and re read it to be sure I didn’t sound stupid or wasn’t asking something I should already know, I closed my eyes and pressed send.  I’d been struggling with the puzzle for a while and was trying different things without any clear progress and saw the opportunity to get guidance from the masters.  So I put aside my insecurities and asked the question.  “Should I NOT get on a home raised older gelding who is showing major dominance during saddling?  How do I balance being progressive enough with taking the time it takes?”  They had time for one last question and it was mine!  The answer was a resounding NO, do not get on while he is showing dominance.  This gave me permission (from myself) to be able to be clear and not take input from people around who might think (or should I say who I decided must think) I should just get on and make him see who’s boss.  I knew he needed progress, but just couldn’t be clear on how I should go about setting that up to happen in the most savvy way.  Linda went on to tell me to really read about Allure and discussed LBEs.  Well, I’d had Taxi’s horsenality report done and it showed LBI.  I must’ve been preoccupied the day I answered the questionnaire and had not felt quite right about it.  But, I’m not comfortable asking for do overs and had held back form requesting that.  After Linda’s clear guidance I picked up the phone right away and called.  Of course I was graciously offered the do over and his report came back clear…LBE.  Linda said the horsenality reports are really the missing link and to follow it to a t.  The thing that was really HUGE for me that Linda said was to really let go of my agenda and be sure to put the horse’s needs first.  Now, this was something I’d been saying and would’ve spouted off to people I’m sure…and truly believed in.  But, I hadn’t really absorbed it yet.  I have a lot of AGENDA with all my goals to enter the mastery program, achieve L4 and beyond, study with Linda, study with Pat, learn to work cows with Pat, etc, etc.  I wouldn’t have labeled my GOALS as AGENDA before, but when I get the opportunity for specific guidance from Linda Parelli, I’m taking notes, listening to every word and doing as she says.  This is an opportunity for me to have real growth and bypass a lot of ups and downs / trials and errors…so, I’m taking advantage of it and getting every lesson I can from it:-)  I sat with that phrase (briefly…though there was a lot of thinking quickly happening for this RBE/LBE).  I saw that my goals had become my agenda and the truth was that I had somewhere along the way decided that if my goals were with Parelli, they didn’t qualify as AGENDA being put before the horse’s needs.  I was still doing what I thought Parelli would expect from me to be a part of the team/family and had been putting purpose before principles.  Ouch.  Difficult to say even now; I don’t wanna be that person.  Having that realization, I gave myself a good talking to, got real clear that my entry into the externship and L4 achievements can not be the number one focus and set to putting together a new plan and way of thinking that included going to Allure’s page, getting the new horsenality report and a plan to go back and soak in everything Linda has put out about Allure.  Something happened to me that really changed.  It’s one of those things you don’t know until you really know and there you are, finally.  For the first time, I found myself hoping something goes wrong so I can implement strategies and laughing about it.  I got this concept before, but didn’t know that I hadn’t really absorbed and embodied it.  The first session with Taxi after Linda’s advice proved incredible culminating in me getting on bareback!  This horse had just been pinning his ears and even kicking out if I was doing anything in zone 3, literally 2 days before.  On this day, he put him self in place next to the tailgate and invited me to mount:-)  This is a horse who has bucked me off once and who others have approached me about saying he’s unpredictable and to be careful.  I now see it is all LBE behavior and is very predictable.  I also had similar experiences with my LBI mare who has brought me to this journey and is my treasure that continues to teach me so much about being a better person.  It really is amazing how simple (but not easy) this is when we, the humans, get it and grow from our experiences.  Also, I have a new appreciation for how quickly change can happen when we get it right.  It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process, though we do have to be prepared to wait if it takes a while:-)  These are the moments where I’m so excited and proud to be a part of the Parelli family and want to shout from the mountain tops all about how Parelli is changing my life and making me a better person.  And, oh yeah, helping me get better with horses.  WAYYYY MORE THAN RIDING!  WAYYYY MORE THAN what we do at the ranch or barn…ALLLL ABOUT CONSTANT LEARNING AND GROWTH.  All about the journey.  Savvy on…